You’re a whore.
I heard through the grapevine that Becky’s uncle’s coworker’s best friend’s youngest son’s favorite bar tender saw you leave with that blonde guy that one time.
You’re a slut.
Because I know for a fact that you gave your number to a dude when we were at that concert and he a dick pic the next day for good measure.
Now that we have established your reputation, let me help you embrace it so that you may live the life debauchery you seem to enjoy.
Dress the part
As a loose woman you have so many more options than your more proper counterparts. When you go out feel free to wear whatever you want. Maybe you bought shoes with a seductively high heel, boots that come above your knees, or a skirt that doesn’t come to your knees? Why not pop those on for a night out with your girlfriends?
I’m sure you’ve watched a bajillion makeup tutorials on the YouTube, all of them ending with red lipstick. Go for it. Try some false eyelashes and highlighted décolletage, too.
Go with the gossip
You know Betty in accounting finds the heels and exposed ankles you insist on wearing to the office rather unbecoming. Instead of talking to you about it (not that you’d change anything) she told Bobby who manages the sales team that you’re banging Bret.
Doesn’t matter that Bret is married, nor does anyone seem to care that he has been dragged into the mud with you.
You and Bret now have standing lunch date on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. He brings you coffee and you bake him cookies. It’s what friends do, right? It’s what Betty and Lisa do (but maybe they’re hooking up?).
Mark you conquests
If you do indeed meet a nice boy and take him home make sure there is no mistaking that you did the deed. You need to leave a visible mark. You can choose whatever but I needs to be unique to you.