Tweeting Red

In the last few years the news had been filled with uprisings, both in the US and abroad. Social media has played an integral part in both the success of such movements and putting the widespread idiocy of humans on display. 

I know you having feelings, and if you so desire you should share them, but know there is a right way to share these and a less right way to do this. Below is a guide to fighting for a cause in the correct fashion. 

Yes, the Starbucks red cup bunch of bullshit is the perfect example, you’re welcome.


Every cause needs a slogan and since the advent of Twitter every slogan needs a hashtag. #MerryChristmasStarbucks might use up 17% of your character allotment but who the fuck cares? It’s catchy and rhymes and is clever to boot!

The best part of the #MerryChristmasStarbucks phenomenon is that it totally gets the point across. Such anger! Such righteousness.

Starbucks probably doesn’t even know how to respond, I mean, seriously to them #MerryChristmasStarbucks is like telling the entire cooperation to suck a dick. They’ll probably get flustered like all the other atheist/heathen/non-human entities and respond with “Thank you”.

Click like on the click bait

Look at you, clicking on bright pictures with inflammatory headlines! You must be highly educated, savvy to the way of real news sources, headlines are the whole story.

Now that you’ve read the whole story share the whole story on you Facebook page and the like, you family, friends, lovers, and others will appreciate being informed by your newly discovered angle on the truth.

Ombré red is the sign of the beast. Source you ask? That dude who stands on the corner in skinny jeans  and a Jesus hoodie. I’m sure he knows the words in the books he’s got in his hand.

Ignore facts

Have you seen cups of years past? You know the ones plastered with snowmen, the traditional Christian symbol of God incarnate (You’ve seen Frosty the Snowman too, so you know). 

You can’t see any trend in a the increasing minimalism in the design, just trees and snowmen, and a snowflake or two. But no minimalism. That’s impossible.

Just, no.

Abuse the opposition 

We’ve both seems articles and videos rejoicing in the simplify of the cup that carries the beloved sugar and caffeine buzz. These people are going to rot, but before they spend eternity burning you should explain how they are oppressing you and your beliefs. Death to infidels! (I used a thesaurus to find another word for heathen, as you should because you are smart!) 

Just as a side note: it’s only November, calm your tits.

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