The Struggles of an Addict

If you have ever had your health history taken you know that the poor nurse has to force you to confess your drinking habits and your dalliances with the nose candy. No one is shocked that you drink, smoke, and are cannabis connoisseur. Your healthcare provider is looking to see if your little vices have tipped the scale from naughty enjoyment to kind of a problem.

If you are a millennial you’ve taken a DARE class or two, you know the risks and you know how to say no (if you are so inclined) but with recent developments in the understanding of addiction and the steady increase of overdose deaths I think a bit of a review is in order.

Bread

It’s not just bread, it’s carbs in general, but bread is the sexiest source of carbs I can think of, especially if there is a metric ton of rosemary and olive oil involved. The carbo-loader knows that the rush of dopamine is worth the crash later. You will enjoy the onset but you will suffer through the crash.

Don’t suffer, try to balance your diet, some carbs, some other stuff.

Chocolate

It’s an obvious problem, it’s sugar and caffeine and love all bound together. You may be able to hold on to chocolate before becoming a full blown addict for a long time, years even but one day you’ll give up that 70% cocoa bar for M&Ms. Then you’ll be getting the big bag, and eating it all, in secret, before you even make it home from the grocery store.

You can come back from this. Get yourself back on the occasional dark bar. You can do this. You are strong.

Cheese

Cheese is crack from cows. It starts simple enough, a grilled cheese when it’s chilly out or a few cubes at a party. But then it escalates, you’ll order a pizza with extra cheese, you’re eating chunks of fresh mozzarella as a snack, and adding cheese to previously cheeseless foods, every soup and salad has a dab now.

Eventually you start experimenting with other things at the cheese counter, Gruyere and Gouda, Havarti with all kinds of herbs mixed in, but it starts to cost you.

Before long your selling sex for literal cheddar.

I know, I’ve been there.

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