Sexual Harassment and You

As a woman in the workplace it is not uncommon to be harassed by coworkers and clients. Hell, if you’re one of the lucky ones general sexual harassment started before your thirteenth birthday when Jesus decided it was a-ok for you to grow an unruly set of knockers. 

They say that sexual harassment is about power more than sex. They tell you to ignore it or at least not fight it because it’s part of the price of success. Female mentors lament complainers and male bosses don’t understand the discomfort.

But you have to be able to live and work, ignoring the problem isn’t a solution, do like I do, the step by step guide is below.

  1. Stop being sexually harassed, become the sexual harasser.

If you are confused read the step by step guide again. I honestly did my best to make it comprehensive yet simple. 

Yes, I am encouraging you to threaten to (or just to) honk your coworker’s dicks in the break room. Also try openly talking about how sexy the unfortunate souls are and how much sexier they would be naked and splayed across your desk.

Maybe you think this is too much? That’s because you are weak and are okay with stagnating under the glass ceiling. I am not.

Tell everyone about all the old man dick the CEO sucks. Describe, in detail, the services you require your better-looking subordinates to preform in order get the recognition they earned actually doing their jobs. 

Try it for a week and if you aren’t addicted to the power of it all, we’ll talk, you’re probably doing something wrong.

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