Alley Etiquette 

I grew up, and learned to drive, in the epitome of rural, dirt roads and one lane bridges, the occasional fording of a creek or dodging of a surprise loose cows, they were normal. I have spent the majority of the last decade living in cities, occasionally without a car, so I have adapted.

The city where I currently reside is a maze of one-ways and alleys. The streets are narrow or harrowing and the parking is parallel (I have an Uber account specifically because of that very thing). The rules are different when driving in the city, left on red is legal and encouraged, Jay-walkers are a legitimate threat and cyclists think that the rules don’t apply to them.

Some of these nuances need to be learned first hand, but other rules of the road (read alleys) I can help you with. 

Park as it suits you

On real roads you have to park in the direction that you drive, in alleys there are no rules. You can park parallel or perpendicular or diagonally or upside down if you want. Double parking is encouraged, just do it.

Disregard all signs

If there is a No Parking sign that parking spot is probably going to free on the reg, claim that as yours. 

If there is a Towing Enforced sign, remember how expensive those signs are so refrain from defacing it. I suggest parking behind this sign if it is free standing, keeps you from being hit by other cars trying to get in and out of the alley.

Private parking pretty much means government owned cars can’t park there, so you can, unless you you drive a government owned vehicle.

Avoid traffic 

Some days the traffic is super shitty because of accidents or water main breaks and stuff. This will make your life super shitty too. Avoid the traffic all together by using the network of alleys that weaved behind houses and shops across your city. There is nothing more exhilarating than weaving between trash cans and near misses with parked cars so that you can get home 3.5 minutes faster!



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