If you go to my little about me section you may glean that I am one of those people who needs 38.6 hours in my day to accomplish all of my shit. 

I am not alone. 

So many people live by their Google calendar synced to their outlook calendar, cross referenced with their day timer, and managed by a short, hyperorganized middle aged woman (that last part is a lie, we can afford to employ middle aged people, we’d have to get a third job and we surely don’t have time for that, but you get the idea). This bombardment of appointments leads to less than adequate sleep and a diet of coffee and ketchup. 

Eventually, you will slam head first into a brick wall of exhaustion. Fear not, I’ve been doing this for like 13 years, let me guide.

Sleep well

I’m sure neighbors alarm doesn’t go off an hour before yours and continue beeping until after your alarm has sounded and you have taken a shower, but mine does. The seven hours I allow myself in bed every night (which doesn’t sound bad written down but is a bit of a joke in reality) are torn to shreds by loud TVs and escalating gang violence. Your disruptions are different but you don’t have to suffer. 

Take naps throughout the day.

I start with my first nap while I’m in the shower. It’s a blip but it’s 4.2 extra minutes of sleep.

At work find a sunny patch in an office and sit in it. If you are lucky you will get to snooze in a coworker’s office. If anyone catches you you can either file a sexual harassment complaint against the nosey Nancy with HR or explain that you and you coworker are meditating on a project you are collaborating on.

Count a few more sheep while stuck in construction traffic. If you count too many a friendly motorist will honk at you to rouse you from your slumber.

Maybe put a pizza in the oven and and nod off while it cooks. This could be tricky if you aren’t at home but I have faith in your abilities. 

Eat better

We all need to stop just grabbing what is closest and choose our meals mindfully. Food is to be enjoyed. Prep should be savored. Cooking should fill your soul. Eating should bring you physical pleasure.

My go-to in situations when I’m beat and trying to be mindful is a cucumber, a family size tub of hummus, seltzer, and M&M’s.

Change your routine

To prevent getting stuck in a rut and losing your mind to monotony move your Tuesday meeting to Friday, park on the otherside of the parking lot, write with the wrong hand. 

It really doesn’t matter what you do to mix things up as long as you create some space in your life for cognition. 

Think. 

Think.

Think.

You’ll figure it out, or you’ll file a police report for your stolen car. 

Let it go

If you aren’t collapsing under the weight of your coffe and ketchup high or fainting because you forgot your coffee and ketchup, you can just let everything go.

Put your ass on the couch (or the ground) and let your mind quiet itself by working through all of the clutter. Who knows what you’ll remember (hopefully the police aren’t looking for your car). You may suffer flashbacks (Linda Tripp, on the phone, in the old office), you may fall asleep, you make publish a blog post to end all blog posts. 

Whatever you do the stress will leave, for like 7.9 minutes, before you have panic attack because you also talked to Wendy Pepper that one time and it’s come to the surface too.