I will never claim to be the best at speaking (or writing) eloquently but inhale a linguistic pet peeve I Would very much like to discuss with you. There is an overused four letter word that is driving me fucking bananas. 

The word is nice. 

If I were to ask you what nice meant you’d be like “um, uh, it’s like nice, you know,” because typically we’re not using the word nice a synonym of pleasant, which is it’s primary definition. 

Collectively, let’s work on changing the way we describe things, be a little more succinct. To aid you in this progression toward enlighten discriptions I have listed some common phrases and alternatives for those common phrases and their various inflections below. 

He’s a nice guy.

1. He’s a less than impressive man but there is nothing specifically wrong with him. 
2. He’s a bit of a weirdo.
3. He’s good enough for you…
4. He hasn’t murdered anyone, that I’m aware of, but I wouldn’t put it past him, that’s just the vibe he gives off. 

She seems nice.

1. She is friendly.
2. She is probably a woman of loose morals. 
3. I don’t like her at all, but telling you that would offend you and that scares me.

Today is a nice day.

1. Today is quite pleasant.
2. Today is a nice day.*

Those are nice tits.

1. Those breasts are impressive in size (or whatever makes them impressive).
2. I’ve been blindsided by the unexpected gloriousness of that bosom over yonder.
3. Boobs are good, I like boobs, those boobs included. 
4. Those knockers are more what I’m looking for in my life. 

It’s so nice to see you. 

1. It’s not a great time to talk, please let me go.
2. I can’t remember your name but I am enjoying this produce aisle catch-up.
3. You’ve turned into a fantastic looking human specimen since I’ve seen you last, please ask me out.

*This is a prime example of