Proper Dream Interpretation

I was asleep in my pillow nest, spinning a vibrant dream when my alarm went off. The dream was a filled with strange juxtapositions, two men, one past, one present, two predators, one stiffening me with fear, they other pitiosuly dead, mountains and ocean, heat and snow.

I woke up exhausted and a bit teary, I had been skiing and the man from the past had just broken my heart by slaying a puma. It’s nearly a day later and the images still flicker. I can’t stop thinking about it. What does it all mean?

I have spent time and hard earned babysitting money reading about and practicing the art of dream interpretation (via dream dictionaries, of course), it make me kind of an expert. Some of my better tips for deriving meaning from your personal sleep dramas are below.


A dream is your subconscious trying to communicate with your conscious. Unfortunately, they sometimes get a bad connection and you are stuck trying to figure it all out.

All dreams have a deep meaning. They show us our true desires. Use them to guide your. 

And remember, you cannot die in a dream without dying, be wary of potential conflicts and injurious adventures and nip them in the bud before it’s too late.


There are two things that signify new beginnings or a need to start over in dreams, birth and death. 

Birth is confusing, it can cause anxiety toward about forth coming changes. The beauty of the pregnancy and birth dream means we have time to prepare for the next leg of our journey. Enjoy the change. And when the time comes shoot for an orgasmic birth, no one is watching.

Death is equally as upsetting. But once you absorb the initial shock, you will realize the tethers are go, you are free. Seize your freedom and live the life your departed wouldn’t allow you to live.


If you dream about a person you must be in love with them. If your dream characters are known to you, how lucky! You must wake and go to that person, profess your love and make them yours forever.

You are less lucky if you dream of stangers wrestling alligators to protect you, you must hunt this person. Waste no time. Find them and love them in real life. 


It’s the only other thing people dream about, it’s just hidden deeper. Remember the alligator from before? Sex. And birth? Sex.

Death, dying, destruction: sex.

Teeth, arms, forgetting your presentation for a big meeting: sex.

You get it. Sigmund Freud made it abundantly clear in his study of the human psyche, all roads lead to sex.

Except for sex.

If you dream of sex, you should have eaten a little bit before bed. Sex dreams are hunger pangs resounding in the mind.

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