I went into the local Target this evening to purchase dog treats and IcyHot.

I left my local Target this evening with frozen meals for the week (quit judging, I’m budgeting), snacks, sparkling water, dog treats, and Izze. No IcyHot. And $36 poorer.

This is a Target trip on a good day, where everything I buy, despite not being my intended purchases, are things that I need (and Izze). It’s not unheard of for me to spend an hour sorting all the brightly colored nonsense that would be super fucking spectacular for my patio, seriously I could have the cutest dinner parties!

Except, I don’t have a patio (or friends that I could bring together for a meal that wouldn’t be mildly uncomfortable).

While you are shaking your head at my obscene tendency to overspend, know that I’ve seen there too, buying your kid it’s 37th outfit this month, trying on those new heels, fingering books you can buy on Amazon for cheaper.

I am not alone. And we will overcome, together. Just follow the steps below then meet me in The One Spot to discuss your progress.

Make a list

So you’re heading to the store for a few little things and maybe a cup of coffee as a treat for your ability to be an adult. Yay, you. Now, before you get into your car you need to make your list. Put on paper the things you need. Put on paper the things you are going to buy.

Be sure to take the list with you.

Follow the list

When you enter Target, the big glass door sliding out of you way, ready to embrace you. You are greeted by all the colors and a shiny things but you must hold fast to your list. Use it as your treasure map. Only go to the places on your list for the things on your list.

You get this whole list idea?

Use Cartwheel

But only for the things you are actually putting in your cart. I know there are days when 20% off of clearance shoes is enough to lift your soul but I doubt you have clearance shoe money today. Or any day, because buying out of season shoes really isn’t the smartest thing you can do with your dollar dollar bills y’all.

Get out of The One Spot

And stop looking in my cart. I didn’t tell you it was going to be easy, I don’t need you fucking judging my struggle.

 

You must buy your coffee somewhere other than the Target Starbucks, just to prove that you can.