Self-Care: A Guide to Taking Care of Yourself

The new trend in the blogosphere is this whole self-care phenomenon (see? and here, and here, and also this chick offered up her self-care tips for you, my sweet readers). There are some benefits to this whole work-life balance, body-positivity, mantra-chanting, self-esteem boosting, healthy eating trend. But I think a lot of these folks are missing one major aspect in all of their tips and tricks, and I think I can be the one to fill in that gap.

I apologize in advance for jumping on this bandwagon, but trending inspiration is still inspiration, y’all.

One aspect of the self that is both widely taboo and of serious curiosity for nearly everybody is human sexuality. In college if you want to take a 200 level human sexuality class, typically you have to be a senior with priority registration to get a seat (anecdotal evidence is now fact). Sexuality is apparently all about the expression of love through sexual sensation or something (I didn’t make it into the human sexuality class so I just cobbled together some internet shit for that one).

The corner stone of both love and sexual sensation is the self. For the slower folks I’m talking about taking care of yourself… For this I’m going change up my methods today, instead of a how to (because if intuition fails you, you are an adult with an internet connection) I’m going to give you a why to. Reasons to take self-care seriously can be found below.

Stress Relief

The brain chemicals (dopamine and oxytocin) released during sex that the lady’s magazines tout as wonderful for pair bonding. The very same chemicals that make you fall in love with your partner, make your day a little brighter, and everything a little easier to handle when you don’t have a partner.

Also, you don’t have fret about being knocked up or getting the clap (or syph because that shit is on the rise).

Cramp Relief

Menstrual cramps can be hell. You can throw pills at them and it will help, everything helps some but between uterine contractions and vasoconstriction cause by prostaglandins (that’s real science, fuck yeah 94% of a Biology degree!) you’re not getting 100% relief from anything. Add a bit of self-stimulation to the mix, cramp less, smile more. It’s a hell of a lot cheaper than name brand OTC pair relievers!

Better Sex

If you bang dudes, you (occasionally) have to teach them to get you off, and if you don’t know how to do it yourself how the fuck are you supposed to teach them?


This ties into the point above. If you’ve ever had someone complement you on your vaginal strength, you’d know what I’m getting at.

But it also keeps you from peeing on yourself in old age, and could be good for birth giving if that’s something you’re into. Some people have made a name for themselves for this whole vaginal strength thing, and while you and I don’t need to be lifting surfboards to have earth shattering orgasms, stronger is better.


 Frequent orgasms means longer life. Longer life means more orgasms.

Go for it. And don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.



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