Not Buying It

We’ve all been in front of a pushy sales person who just won’t take no for an answer. And as a sales person, I get it, you were blissfully unaware of whatever garbage I’m touting until you picked up your phone I walked into your office. It’s our job to wear you down.

There are some sales people who are relentless, they want that prize cruise so badly that they may or may not do literally anything to get the sale. These people need special treatment. You can find a few ideas for stopping a hard sale in its tracks below. 

  1. We make the men sit to pee here. Though maybe only do this with men who are selling you urinal mats… Or men in shiny pants trying to sell you a mobile phone. You know what, just use this one on any sales person who looks like they’d be upset by this type of emasculation. 
  2. Excuse me while I take this. Then pick up your phone that didn’t ring and gossip with no one while simultaneously Googling the salesman. Do not let him leave.
  3. Quid pro quo, motherfucker… Use it at every juncture she has built into her sales pitch in which you are supposed to be awed by her product, then explain how close you are to your sales goal and lay out how she can help you. 
  4. I don’t make the decisions on this. You need to follow this up by giving them the contact info of the most convincing intern. And because interns need to earn their keep, see if you can’t have them work up a cost analysis in the process. 

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