On the Look Out: Dealing with Professionals in your Neighborhood

I used to care for a retired social worker, she often laughed about the little town she get up in, and I related, because I grew up in a similar town. One of my favorite characters from her stories, and the existence of this person has been confirmed by other old folks from her tiny town, was the lady of the night who’d do you for a quarter. This is a long time ago, and I don’t know what inflation does to the quarter (I’m not an economist) but that’s beside the point, the best this about this woman was that she paid for everything in quarters.

If that image doesn’t tickle you, they maybe you need a drink or something.

But the story brings up a point that maybe we should examine, sex workers exist, and their work is (mostly) illegal. So how do you handle hookers in your hood?

Pay them

Seriously, whoever the chick in the park across the street from my apartment is, she does good business, and she’s safe, I know from the sheer number of discarded condoms I dodge walking the dog. I doubt she is alone in this practice and I know you haven’t been touched by anyone other than yourself in ages (you are here reading this, I’m just saying…). Grab some cash and make an appointment. 
Buy local!

Film them

If you’re chicken, or broke, or morally opposed to paying for sex, or whatever grab your phone and film whatever business happens at your local corner. You can use it later and you won’t even have to worry about clearing your browsing history.

If someone finds your little film just be sure to tell them you did it to aid in law enforcement. Don’t actually turn the footage over to the cops, it’s against the law in tons of places to film a sexual encounter without the consent of all of the people making appearances. 

You wouldn’t want to look like the sicko you play on the internet would you?

Join them

If you’re strapped for cash, take a lesson from the local strumpets and do some work. Just remember the chick in the park, safety first!

Report them

Posting the ladies’ hours of operations and typical locations on the local social pages is a kind way to direct business their way. Referring friends and out of town guests to the things that make your neighborhood the vibrant up and comer that it is will only help property values. 

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