I woke up at 4:16 AM and have not been able to get back to sleep. This is typically not my style, I'm more of a set three alarms and sleep though them kind of girl.

You're in luck though, my insomnia is your benefit. Please find a list of ideas to work though if you ever find yourself similarly sleepless.

• How much caffeine did I consume yesterday, or all week? Is caffeine to blame? How was caffeine discoverer? Was it ever considered an illicit drug? Why do I suffer from addiction to a legal drug?
• Drugs, that's a thing, maybe I should take a Tylenol PM? Or cocaine? But that would be bad for my heart.
• Is my heart working right? It's beating… I think. Would I know if it stopped?
• How long would it take for someone to find me if I died right now? What would they think of what I'm wearing?
• Who invented shirts that chafed the wearers nipples? How did they stay in business?
• Does my dog love me or merely tolerate me because I occasionally let men come over to pet him?
• What would happen if, while having sex in the woods, you were bitten by a venomous snake? Do you put your pants on? Do you die of embarrassment or snake venom?
• Which hospital should I ask to go to when my heart stops?
• Could I get away with arson? What if this arson is directed at a universally disliked figure?
• Am I so bad at my job that I'm being fired but no one will tell me?
• Do I have it in my budget to get a pedicure?
• What would happen if dog poo ended up in the CEO's desk drawer?
• How much bacon did I eat yesterday? How much is too much?
• What if my car was stolen while I did sleep? Are my flip flops in the car, would insurance cover the emotional damage of my only pair of flip flops being stolen?
• If a train takes a mile to stop, how long does it take to start?
• When will it rain next?
• Did the mosquito who bit me in the park yesterday give me Zika?
• Why does coffee taste so good and coffee breath taste so bad? Why does coffee ice cream not taste like either?
• Did I put the wine back in the fridge?
• Are zoodles contributing to large scale food waste? How many zoodles am I personally wasting? Should I just eat pasta or is that worse for the environment?

Please comment with any thoughts I missed.