On Spontaneity: A Guide to Blowing Things Up without Risking the ATF Knocking Down your Door

I occasionally get the urge to blow things up. But I’ve never been arrested, and fiery destruction of things, while appealing, is problematic when it comes maintaining that streak.

If we examine the underlying appeal of explosions, instant gratification, destruction, drama, a super duper snap story, we can probably find slightly more constructive way to achieve the same feelings. I have a list below, agree or disagree, maybe leave some ideas of your own.

  • Skydive-no destruction, but you get it.
  • Buy a house-this is a long process to call instant gratification, but there is a potential for destruction
  • Clean your closets- but not just tidying, open the doors and throw everything in a dumpster
  • Walk out- I’ve only walked out of a job once, there may or may not have been a threat of violence (not by me, I’m not crazy, I think), just remember to take your purse with you before slamming things about
  • Paint-walls or canvas, it’s creation but it it’s also quick and dirty
  • Punch cat callers- I mean, there is a risk of arrest with this one, but goodness would it be worth it
  • Cut your hair- you’ll probably cry afterwards but it grows back, and there is probably a guy working at your salon who will tell you how cool you are before you get to the tears part
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