How to Buy Happiness

If you Google “how to buy happiness” you have to bypass “how to buy Hamilton tickets” which could be the same thing (I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen Hamilton) and then it’s all Ted Talks and articles in smart publications.

And it’s all well and good, charity and selflessness, experiences and what not. You could see the Seven Wonders of the World or give an entire village clean water, And you would feel good, maybe for a minute, or a week, or even a year. You could keep pictures in your phone to show people, and brag, and get off on the memories.

But that wears off.

Think of all the things you can purchase! So many things. And all without moving your ass from where it is currently planted, and if that isn’t happiness, I’m not really sure what is. Here is a list of things to purchase so you can feel happy.


No one is paying me to do advertise all of this stuff so if you want a subscription box, happiness delivered straight without added additional effort, check here, here, here or here.


  • Kerrygold butter-salted for eating, unsalted for baking
  • Uggs- house slippers not boots because we’re talking luxury not basic shit
  • Anything from Goop.  I am a particularly fond of the dresses, you can get something that looks like something that came from H&M for one hundred times the price. But don’t get too hung up on the lifestyle stuff, that won’t be brought do your doorstep by the postman.

DIY Projects*

  • A blog- the reality is that you’ll never use any of the domain names you purchase, and they aren’t super expensive but you have to renew them every year if you do it right, it will be renewed excitement, but it won’t cost any extra to move when you get a bigger place for all your stuff.
  • A giant yarn knit blanket – you don’t even know how to knit, but that fine you really want that blanket, eventually. Plus the giant yarn will be nice to have around if you need something cozy to rest on.
  • Up-cycled furniture- scour eBay and potter around Facebook Marketplace until you find all kinds of crap you don’t need, but would be really cool if it was fixed, stripped, and repainted. Then order all the stuff you need to do the fixing, stripping, and repainting. you’ll get to it eventually.

I mean if you want to travel, do it. But make sure you buy yourself some souvenirs along the way. There is always a shop, next to a shop, next to a shop, all filled with the same stuff, you should get one of each.


*To sit in the corner of your home waiting for the perfect time for you to actually do it, like when the wine runs out the next blizzard or hurricane (small perk of climate change!).

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