Since the advent of the social media, our lord and savior, we’ve had the joy of keeping track of everything from the comfort of our asses. We no longer need high school reunions to find out who has done who and how the ambitious of the teenaged set have faired as adults.

We’ve used to have to get the details of the lives of former partners and one-offs through word of mouth. But now you can look for yourself, see how their lives are blossoming (or not) as they report it.

You may think this is unhealthy, checking up on someone from the past and using their life as a measure of your own, and it can be if you’re doing it wrong.

So don’t do it wrong.

If you’re going to use the internet to learn about how your ex is doing, you have to be consistent. If you just look in occasionally you won’t see the big picture of their lives. Follow them on every platform, and then follow the things they follow. Know them fully.

Don’t be tempted to stop keeping tabs on them when you find something or someone better to do. You’ll miss something, and how can you rub it in that you’re doing so well when you accidentally run into them at the grocery store that they often stop at after work on Tuesdays, and occasionally Thursday, if you miss anything?

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be out living your life. You should be. Go do all the things you love, and download all of the dating apps and do all the things you could possibly, maybe love if they’re over 5’9” in real life.

But living your life doesn’t need to prevent you from wondering how someone who got a job (more than a year after you broke up) that requires them to be at work at 5:00 AM is going to so many jazz clubs during the week. And don’t let their mid-Winter outdoor adventure posts keep you from having adventures, instead have better adventures.

You two may not be destined to be together and for that you need to feel your feelings. If the Wednesday burgers and beers that show up on Instagram get you in the gut, feel it. Then do something better next Wednesday out of spite.

If you keep this going, you can count on living your best life. Compare, feel the sting and beat them.

Also, if you’re really dedicated, text them every few months to check in. Let them know you’re still around feeling feelings and one-uping them at every turn.