Those who can’t do, teach.

I am a 29-year-old bank manager. I am, I’ve been told, young enough to be undecided about my future but old enough for people to ask me about marriage and babies. I am the laughing stock of any and all young professional networking group I have ever participated in because of my lack of “direction”, long term partner, and cash flow.

I have a BA in English, the credits for a Creative Writing concentration but not the political wherewithal to have it added to my diploma, and a minor in British Communication and Media, and yes, I punctuate outside of quotation marks. I have 94% of a BS in Biology, which I have no intention of completing, and I once strong-armed an academic adviser into allowing me to enroll in the nursing program at the local community college.

Despite my plethora of education I have very foggy life goals. I have simplified them into one idea: I want to be interesting.

I share my life with a chow mix named Sebastian. He survived parvovirus as a puppy and uses this to wield power over me.

He doesn’t give a damn about what I say, but you should, because I know what you are doing wrong. I can also help you fix it so that you don’t have to be like me.