Politics have always been a touchy subject when large groups gather, your family at Christmas is no different. You are either trying to mediate your aunts Marge and Martha as dredge up shit from high school to use as ammo as to why the one or the other is super fucking wrong for not donating … Continue reading Family Friendly Holiday Conversation Starters for Every Uncle is a Drunk Uncle
Conversation
The Art of Lying
I don't typically advocate lying, but as a human you and I both know it's going to happen once or twice during the span of your life. And your lie will be discovered, there are no two ways about it, but the better the liar you are the longer it will take for the truth … Continue reading The Art of Lying
It’s Not That Cold in Here and Other Fun Things to Say to Women of a Certain Age
The population of the United States is aging and women typically outlast men. Especially, with all these old dudes thinking they're Lance Armstrong and spend 14 hours a day riding on their bikes doing nerve damage to their already fickle junk; non-functioning business will not kill you, but an unsatisfied lady-friend might. I digress. Speaking … Continue reading It’s Not That Cold in Here and Other Fun Things to Say to Women of a Certain Age
You’re Not That Kind of Girl: A Guide to Talking to Your Mom about Dating
I was named after a ginger slut in a book*, so it's a given that I'd either be a slut myself or a nun, and my mom told me I couldn't be a nun when I was 17 because I'd miss sex. The woman, my mother, was also known to discuss various sexual misconceptions with … Continue reading You’re Not That Kind of Girl: A Guide to Talking to Your Mom about Dating
The Internet Dating and Race
If you are not aware, I am Hitler's wet dream*, blonde and blue to core. This is what I present to the world when I walk down the street. This is what shows up in photos when they are taken of me. This is what gets put out there when I post pictures of myself … Continue reading The Internet Dating and Race
Excuse Me and Other Socially Appropriate Conversation Enders
We've all put out foot in our mouth at some point, and if we were lucky the people who witnessed this awful display of poor taste were kind enough to laugh it off, at least until we walked away. You learn and move one. But what happens when the sales guy at Best Buy doesn't … Continue reading Excuse Me and Other Socially Appropriate Conversation Enders
The Text Message
I read Pride and Prejudice while in college and like every other silly teenaged girl I feel in love with the letters Mr. Darcy wrote to Elizabeth (I have far more literary sense now, thank you very much). As with notes passed in middle school and the IMs of yore, writing is the universal tool used … Continue reading The Text Message
Be Agressive, B-E Agressive
I was at my work computer recently, railing against The Man, and I came across an article about the gender differences in preformance reviews and was struck dumb. I giggled like a maniac while sending highlighted sections and a link to my bosses and a male coworker who would also get a kick out of it. … Continue reading Be Agressive, B-E Agressive
Let’s Talk about Sex
Not the act, the word, and why you are so darn scared to say it out loud. You used to win the penis game on the bus,what happened to you? When did you become this simpering pussy bitch? I can't solve all your problems. You need to see a therapist about the weakness that has … Continue reading Let’s Talk about Sex
Ending a Phone Call
I used to work in a call center (which is something I think society should use a punishment for criminals, but that's a whole other can of worms). The only useful takeaway from that soul sucking year and a half (plus two days last month) was that there is a polite a way to end … Continue reading Ending a Phone Call
The Wiseass Life Coach 