Big Girls Don’t Cry

I'm jump starting 2019 by taking a month or two to focus on eating the way my body needs me to. It's a diet, and also not a diet, I don't count calories, I don't worry about serving sizes, I don't obsessively fast, though I have been known to occasionally fast out of sheer laziness. … Continue reading Big Girls Don’t Cry

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Ruining Christmas and Other Jolly Holiday Activities for You and Your Friends

It is smack-dab in the of December, there is a chill in the air, the menorah and the Christmas tree are glowing in the center of town and I have spent so much money at the craft store that they gave me a free glittery wreath/candle holder that is awkwardly too small to be a … Continue reading Ruining Christmas and Other Jolly Holiday Activities for You and Your Friends

Deafening Silence: a Translation

I've been known to abort a pregnant pauses. I've skipped doses while administering the silent treatment. No lie, I've been chattering refuge for a priest on silent retreat. My incessant noise exists to prevent introspection (though I'm sure some coworkers think I blather on to motivate them to be busy enough to ignore me). And … Continue reading Deafening Silence: a Translation

Banging on the Ceiling and Other Ways to get Involved in Your Neighbors’ Sex Lives

My neighbors, the ones who shared my bedroom wall and the ones who lived below me, moved out. The new neighbors fight less (many thanks new neighbors!) but feel the need to be more involved in my sex life than any neighbors I have ever had. And it's not like either the downstairs neighbor not … Continue reading Banging on the Ceiling and Other Ways to get Involved in Your Neighbors’ Sex Lives

A Guide to Finding the Right Moment to Tell Your New Black Friend You Voted for Obama

I'm no stranger to helping you through difficult conversations, remember when I helped you with this conversation? And this conversation seems a bit timely with the politics and such. But it's a conversation that you may need to have, you know, to prove to any black people that you're definitively not racist. The line is … Continue reading A Guide to Finding the Right Moment to Tell Your New Black Friend You Voted for Obama