I'm jump starting 2019 by taking a month or two to focus on eating the way my body needs me to. It's a diet, and also not a diet, I don't count calories, I don't worry about serving sizes, I don't obsessively fast, though I have been known to occasionally fast out of sheer laziness. … Continue reading Big Girls Don’t Cry
Human interactions
Ruining Christmas and Other Jolly Holiday Activities for You and Your Friends
It is smack-dab in the of December, there is a chill in the air, the menorah and the Christmas tree are glowing in the center of town and I have spent so much money at the craft store that they gave me a free glittery wreath/candle holder that is awkwardly too small to be a … Continue reading Ruining Christmas and Other Jolly Holiday Activities for You and Your Friends
Online Dating at its Best
Last night I won the award for "Online Dating at its Best"! I didn't even know I was nominated but I won. It's like the Emmy's but in Pringle crumb covered sweatpants (just kidding, you guys, I don't own sweatpants). I know not everyone can be a winner but I want to help those of … Continue reading Online Dating at its Best
Deafening Silence: a Translation
I've been known to abort a pregnant pauses. I've skipped doses while administering the silent treatment. No lie, I've been chattering refuge for a priest on silent retreat. My incessant noise exists to prevent introspection (though I'm sure some coworkers think I blather on to motivate them to be busy enough to ignore me). And … Continue reading Deafening Silence: a Translation
Banging on the Ceiling and Other Ways to get Involved in Your Neighbors’ Sex Lives
My neighbors, the ones who shared my bedroom wall and the ones who lived below me, moved out. The new neighbors fight less (many thanks new neighbors!) but feel the need to be more involved in my sex life than any neighbors I have ever had. And it's not like either the downstairs neighbor not … Continue reading Banging on the Ceiling and Other Ways to get Involved in Your Neighbors’ Sex Lives
A Guide to Finding the Right Moment to Tell Your New Black Friend You Voted for Obama
I'm no stranger to helping you through difficult conversations, remember when I helped you with this conversation? And this conversation seems a bit timely with the politics and such. But it's a conversation that you may need to have, you know, to prove to any black people that you're definitively not racist. The line is … Continue reading A Guide to Finding the Right Moment to Tell Your New Black Friend You Voted for Obama
How to Marry a Doctor
Being a successful adult is tough, you have to work hard, know the right people, and go to work frequently. Maybe you thought you could do it and now, at 25, are discovering that you're not even cut out to do anything beyond answering someone more important's phone. Don't worry, you're not just a millennial … Continue reading How to Marry a Doctor
It’s Not That Cold in Here and Other Fun Things to Say to Women of a Certain Age
The population of the United States is aging and women typically outlast men. Especially, with all these old dudes thinking they're Lance Armstrong and spend 14 hours a day riding on their bikes doing nerve damage to their already fickle junk; non-functioning business will not kill you, but an unsatisfied lady-friend might. I digress. Speaking … Continue reading It’s Not That Cold in Here and Other Fun Things to Say to Women of a Certain Age
The Work Sexlife Balance
Not that long ago, I worked seven days a week, getting up early, going to sleep early, and barely scraping by. The benefit to the endless drudgery was the occasional mid-afternoon tryst. But now I am in a position of power, which does not allow me such delights. Instead of getting some action, I'm serving … Continue reading The Work Sexlife Balance
Happy Tears and How to Make the Most of Them
I have a reputation to uphold, so today, when I received news that made me tear up in the middle of a meeting I was faced with the challenge of saving face and pretending like I wasn't texting. The texting thing is easy enough, I get work email on my cell phone, because I'm super … Continue reading Happy Tears and How to Make the Most of Them
The Wiseass Life Coach 