Once upon a time, I was awaken by a text at 1:30 AM, this was no ordinary late night text, it was a call to arms over a friendship. Wake and fight or sleep and let 10 years go. I chose the latter (though if I'm being honest I didn't sleep and I didn't let … Continue reading The Art of Apology
Human interactions
Paying For It
Look, I know that you are far too classy to straight up pay for sex, even if it is only $8. I know that you are one smooth mother-lover and can get it on you own. Your Black Card and standing reservation at Morton's Steakhouse are good at picking up where your personality falls short. Or … Continue reading Paying For It
Garçon!: Making the Most of a Meal Out
I eat out way too frequently, and as such, am an expert in how to treat waitstaff. And I know, this is going to vary for the international readers, especially when it comes to the whole tipping thing, but bear with me. Treating waiters well is the key to a stellar dining experience. They control the … Continue reading Garçon!: Making the Most of a Meal Out
Family Vacation: A Guide to Enjoying the Poeple that You are Forced to Love
This afternoon I got in the car and drove to the beach for the weekend. I was greeted by my slightly more sober sister and checked into the hotel before heading to the bar to meet my other sister and my mother, who were already knee deep in stolen cups. Everyone's family does it differently, … Continue reading Family Vacation: A Guide to Enjoying the Poeple that You are Forced to Love
Come again?: Click Bait and the Female Orgasm
So I was on the Twitter wasting time before I waste more time (because I'm on a semi-staycation motherfuckers!) and I saw a tweet that said something about "things I know for giving her the big O". I clicked the link, just like you did just now. And 7367 ads and 42 next buttons later I … Continue reading Come again?: Click Bait and the Female Orgasm
Human Sexuality: A Crash Course
One of the things I have run into with this whole online dating, other than hundreds of men knocking down my door to be with me, is the many options and explanations of each of these people's sexuality. I grew up in a world where people were straight, or occasionally gay (and there was a … Continue reading Human Sexuality: A Crash Course
The Internet Dating and Race
If you are not aware, I am Hitler's wet dream*, blonde and blue to core. This is what I present to the world when I walk down the street. This is what shows up in photos when they are taken of me. This is what gets put out there when I post pictures of myself … Continue reading The Internet Dating and Race
Left Behind: Surviving Being Ghosted
Ghosting: the practice of ending a thing (relationship, situation, mommy group, UN sanctioned peace talks, etc.) by simply ceasing all forms of communication. Ghosting leaves one party exposed and the other smug with power. I'm not a fan of involuntarily unbalanced power dynamics in any situation, and you, as my reader, shouldn't be either. To … Continue reading Left Behind: Surviving Being Ghosted
Making it in a Man’s World
I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I am a woman. I know, fucking shocker! I was recently reminded of this while being put in my place by a man in front of men. My face burned red and tears welled up but that's to be expected at this phase of the moon. I'm sure … Continue reading Making it in a Man’s World
The Text Message
I read Pride and Prejudice while in college and like every other silly teenaged girl I feel in love with the letters Mr. Darcy wrote to Elizabeth (I have far more literary sense now, thank you very much). As with notes passed in middle school and the IMs of yore, writing is the universal tool used … Continue reading The Text Message
The Wiseass Life Coach 