I feel like I need to apologize for my last post, the tone was off, I was drinking heavily to ignore the fact that being 32 has taken me to invisible enough at bar that only the hefty lady bartenders notice me. It's ok, she made a really good drink with duck fat and rye … Continue reading An Apology
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Ruining Christmas and Other Jolly Holiday Activities for You and Your Friends
It is smack-dab in the of December, there is a chill in the air, the menorah and the Christmas tree are glowing in the center of town and I have spent so much money at the craft store that they gave me a free glittery wreath/candle holder that is awkwardly too small to be a … Continue reading Ruining Christmas and Other Jolly Holiday Activities for You and Your Friends
How to Buy Happiness
If you Google "how to buy happiness" you have to bypass "how to buy Hamilton tickets" which could be the same thing (I wouldn't know, I haven't seen Hamilton) and then it's all Ted Talks and articles in smart publications. And it's all well and good, charity and selflessness, experiences and what not. You could see … Continue reading How to Buy Happiness
Team Building: Tips for Hiring People Who You Can Trust Fall With
I was recently promoted to the position of boss and as such I get to build my own team. Which means I get to interview people, strangers even! And my interviews decide if they get to leave their hellish jobs and work for me. Before the positions I'm hiring for were posted I had an … Continue reading Team Building: Tips for Hiring People Who You Can Trust Fall With
Medical Care in the Internet Age
I bet the last time you went to the doctor you left more uncertain than you went in. Your appointment was filled with probing questions completely irrelevant to your ailments (seriously why does anyone care if you do meth?) and the bastard wouldn't give you antibiotics to cure your cold. The specialists and follow-ups didn't … Continue reading Medical Care in the Internet Age
The Art of Apology
Once upon a time, I was awaken by a text at 1:30 AM, this was no ordinary late night text, it was a call to arms over a friendship. Wake and fight or sleep and let 10 years go. I chose the latter (though if I'm being honest I didn't sleep and I didn't let … Continue reading The Art of Apology
When the Velcro Comes Undone: A Quick Reference for the Former Owner of a Stolen Wallet
I recently took a promotion at my professional bank job so maybe it's time I put my industry expertise to work for you people. For those of you who have never had your wallet stolen or dropped it in a parking lot of an outlet mall, take your practical, yet fashion forward, wallet chains and … Continue reading When the Velcro Comes Undone: A Quick Reference for the Former Owner of a Stolen Wallet
Hanging on to Youth: A Guide to Anti-Aging
Today, I had a shock. One month shy of my twenty-ninth birthday I discovered my first white hair. I suppose its not a surprise, my mother's head was more white than not at my age, my siblings both older and younger have patches and streaks on their heads. Alas, a mane of white is not … Continue reading Hanging on to Youth: A Guide to Anti-Aging
Tamping Excess Vaginal Cash Flow
If you have, or want to have, or want to use someone else's vagina you know they can be very expensive. And while most of us are scraping our pennies to buy the basic $11 box of generic tampons* and running to Victoria Secret with coupons in had for ill fitting, sexy, free panties, there are … Continue reading Tamping Excess Vaginal Cash Flow
Let’s Talk about Sex
Not the act, the word, and why you are so darn scared to say it out loud. You used to win the penis game on the bus,what happened to you? When did you become this simpering pussy bitch? I can't solve all your problems. You need to see a therapist about the weakness that has … Continue reading Let’s Talk about Sex
The Wiseass Life Coach 