On March 8th I went home on my lunch break and took a full hour nap. On a March 10th my throat burned when I breathed, and I started coughing. The cough was deep, and felt like your knees do when you fall and scrape them on cement. I worked the full day used the … Continue reading Diagnosis: A Mild Hoax
death
Oh Death: An Attempt at Enjoying a Passing
I have written about brushes with death, I have written in memoriam of a good friend, I have even tackled the horrifying event that is the death of a beloved celebrity and yet I have never addressed death head on. Let us, on this beautiful today, discuss the end of life. There are as many rituals with … Continue reading Oh Death: An Attempt at Enjoying a Passing
On Female Friendships
A year ago today one of my best friends died. It was sudden but not unexpected. I missed three finals to run back and forth to all of the airports in the DC area so that her family could be together. And I spent a week dodging my mother's well meaning coworkers who talking about … Continue reading On Female Friendships
Proper Dream Interpretation
I was asleep in my pillow nest, spinning a vibrant dream when my alarm went off. The dream was a filled with strange juxtapositions, two men, one past, one present, two predators, one stiffening me with fear, they other pitiosuly dead, mountains and ocean, heat and snow. I woke up exhausted and a bit teary, … Continue reading Proper Dream Interpretation
Ending It
It took me almost an entire year but I think I've finally been saddled with enough bollocks to call it quits. I would have thought that this decision would have been more dramatic and, if the movies were even remotely close to true, I would need infinitely more ice cream (I went with wine, chocolate, … Continue reading Ending It
Surviving a Near Death Experience
I nearly died in an elevator today. I didn't react well, the other lady did a better job and dealing. I want to share with you how to handle a near death experience so you don't react like me and just stand there. Grab boob - The boobs can be yours, they can be someone … Continue reading Surviving a Near Death Experience
Scrambling the Egg on Your Face
You've pocket dials someone while tinkling? Flashed the entire office your business? Drunk dialed that person you're in love with but is married? You sweat through your shirt at an interview? Opened a PowerPoint presentation with some other tab open for all to see? You were caught at the peak of pleasure with a q-tip in … Continue reading Scrambling the Egg on Your Face
Surviving the Carcinogenic Apocalyse
Today the world was brought to it's knees by the World Health Organization's report on processed meats. Just as we're figuring it how to work the blessed manna into our gut busting post-workout snacky-poo a reputable source goes and fucks everything up. That isn't the only cancer inducing nightmare that has popped up this week either. … Continue reading Surviving the Carcinogenic Apocalyse
The Wiseass Life Coach 