My two weeks have come and gone. Some dude name James is bringing me groceries tonight, my 16th night of my 16th day with no real human contact. Don’t worry, because I was sick during the panic buying that probably infected you with the same chest cracking disease, I will run out of toilet paper … Continue reading Still alone: What Happens After a Two Week Quarantine
drinking
Solo Travel for the Anxiety Ridden Human
So you planned a trip with your handy-dandy travel buddy. It's going to be fucking phenomenal. It's booked. It's paid for. It's kind of planned. Then your travel buddy is rude enough to have a family emergency/die/breakup with you. You could be fucked. Or you could grab your balls, pull up your big-girl panties, or … Continue reading Solo Travel for the Anxiety Ridden Human
Oh Death: An Attempt at Enjoying a Passing
I have written about brushes with death, I have written in memoriam of a good friend, I have even tackled the horrifying event that is the death of a beloved celebrity and yet I have never addressed death head on. Let us, on this beautiful today, discuss the end of life. There are as many rituals with … Continue reading Oh Death: An Attempt at Enjoying a Passing
Family Vacation: A Guide to Enjoying the Poeple that You are Forced to Love
This afternoon I got in the car and drove to the beach for the weekend. I was greeted by my slightly more sober sister and checked into the hotel before heading to the bar to meet my other sister and my mother, who were already knee deep in stolen cups. Everyone's family does it differently, … Continue reading Family Vacation: A Guide to Enjoying the Poeple that You are Forced to Love
Monday Morning Hangovers: Dealing as an Adult
Next weekend is going to be a shit show of drunk Americans celebrating our freedom, because we, as Americans, are free to get drunk and blow stuff up, so says the Declaration of Independence*. This year, The 4th of July falls on a Monday so maybe it's a less than great example. But summer Mondays, … Continue reading Monday Morning Hangovers: Dealing as an Adult
Drunk Self Actualization
We have been having an interesting few weeks, me and drunk me. And that itself has worrisome implications. Drunk me is dumb and loud and she has less control of herself (see dumb and loud). But I'm not here to talk about what I do when I'm uninhibitied, I'm here to talk about you when … Continue reading Drunk Self Actualization
Happy Hour Behavior
When your team needs some building you need to go with the coworkers and do what the group likes best, which if you are a teacher, banker, medical professional, student, food services work, or artist, is probably drinking discounted drinks. Pick a day, pick a place, download Uber and go for drinks. It's pretty simple … Continue reading Happy Hour Behavior
Food Snobbery on a Budget
I am known for my upturned nose at the foods of the people. I will not apologize for this. Store bought cookies are crap, Hershey's chocolate tastes like morning breath, canned and frozen vegetables have their place and it's not in my kitchen. Cheeses are supposed to be small batched and hummus has a very … Continue reading Food Snobbery on a Budget
Hanging on to a Hangover
One time I had way to much tequila (I can recall 12 shots), three pints of Guinness, and half a pitcher of something pink and fizzy and filled with booze, the next day was rough, I don't remember much of it, too much heaving at the back of a professor's head, and the following night … Continue reading Hanging on to a Hangover
Ideas for Your Storm of the Century Snow Day
It's snowing on the East Coast, in case you haven't heard, and no one is going anywhere for a few days. I have been at home for about eight hours and am already stir crazy. I've started four household projects and a comedy special in Spanish and have finished exactly zero of these things and … Continue reading Ideas for Your Storm of the Century Snow Day
The Wiseass Life Coach 