Network like a Champ

If you have a job that requires having resources outside of said job then you know the dread of networking. If you have one of the aforementioned jobs and don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to get with it.

There are a few sickos out there who thrive on selling themselves, they will offer advice for how to effectively network, but since basically nobody likes networking their advice is is trash. Instead take my advice!

Find like minded people 

If you are so lazy that you’ve fallen victim to deep vein thrombosis while at your desk email a few people who are just as unmotivated. They won’t pressure you to follow through with any plans you make and they probably won’t even notice after you give up on the idea after a day or two. If they need you and your talents they’ll just call your desk phone and you’ll return the favor.

Work to reduce anxiety

Alcohol is a known reducer of social anxiety, so have a drink. If you really need to connect with someone important, have another drink. So what if you become the life of the party? A accidental breast exposure never hurt anyone’s business. 

If you are an alcoholic, this might not be the solution for you. But I believe in you and one drink never hurt anyone…

Fight networking burnout

If you’ve been passing business cards like it’s your job (maybe periodically checking to make sure you are passing your business card) there will be a day when you just can’t go to another meeting. Bow out gracefully by blaming others for you being too busy.

We all know professionals don’t understand the need for a day off, so tell everyone your mother has taken ill or that your boss told you that you’re too valuable to allow to leave the office. Maybe I invest in an orthopedic boot and pop that bad boy on your driving foot for a few weeks. 

Make the most of every situation

There will be meetings you attend where no one really has anything you are looking for, or they’re boring, or they smell funky, don’t let it get you down. Use this time to return emails that you should have been handling for weeks or maybe find a hoverboard on eBay. Think of it as the productive commute you always dreamed of!

Conversely, if you are in a non-networking environment but there is someone of value that you would like to get to know, go for it. There is nothing wrong with your elevator pitch or two during a community service event sponsored by your church or during the painful singing portion of your elementary school aged child’s pageant. 

Good luck!

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