It’s snowing on the East Coast, in case you haven’t heard, and no one is going anywhere for a few days.

I have been at home for about eight hours and am already stir crazy. I’ve started four household projects and a comedy special in Spanish and have finished exactly zero of these things and most of the people I talk to via text have blocked me. 

Don’t end up like me. Keep your friend(s?). Finish your shit. If you need ideas of how to prevent cabin fever keep reading.

Kayak 

The river is up. The rapids are ripe for running. Toss on your swim suit on and get out there. I’m sure you’ll have fun. Just keep your phone on so you can call 911 when your toes start turning black.

Order in 

It’s not safe enough for you to go out to dinner so call the pizza guy. It’s just too bad you didn’t know this storm was coming, if you had you would have gotten cash to tip the driver. Maybe you’ll get lucky and he’ll take forever to get the pizzas to you, thus foregoing his tip. 

Basically, don’t risk your life when someone else can risk theirs. 

Play in the snow

Make snow angels. Go sledding. Snowboard down the road. Just don’t make a snow penis, because in this state you can legally pay for a hand job but you can’t legally build a penis out of snow.

Go to a bar 

Alcohol reduces your inhibitions making driving less scary, go get drunk with your buddies and Tokyo-drift your way home.
Be safe.